My previous post dealt with the influx I have been experiencing of rude and crude behaviour on online dating sites. I proposed that we begin dealing with this negative behaviour rather than just ignoring it. And that segway’s beautifully into this post, breadcrumbing. What is breadcrumbing you may ask? Well, urban dictionary defines it as this “The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie "breadcrumbs") to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort. “ Well that seems annoying and harmless enough. Why do we even need a term for it?
Well, simply put, it is just another indicator that people are losing the ability to communicate clearly and are becoming pussies. No one wants to face rejection or put in enough effort to make a move beyond a flirt and actually meet. It is the social equivalent to the online games where you get a little piece of jewel or gold for minimal effort. And you get super excited, for no reason and then you play again. There is nothing real or tangible to be gained. And yet we are excited. We want to focus energy on that gem. This is breadcrumbing in the virtual world. We want that little flirtatious high, which in point of fact is quite meaningless. And we want to achieve that without putting much effort or risk. If it happens great, but it probably won’t because well, you chickened out from doing something real. You know, leaving a path all over the place and only making a move when it's a sure thing. You can then blame the birds for eating the bread and take no responsibility for getting lost and wasting real people's time.
We are sucked into the phone screens. Waiting for little moments of you win. Little tiny rushes of joy. And it is killing our ability to actually interact in the real world or make true connections. Unfortunately, we forget that this is an artificial stimulation and that can lead a person to not care if it is negative or positive interaction. No harm no foul right? So if things are not going towards a pleasant high, then you can quickly be an ass and get that adrenaline boost from a negative high. I have to remind us all that these are real people. And now this behaviour needs to stop. Breadcrumbing would be harmless and annoying if that underlying cause wasn’t such a strong indicator that we are breaking apart from reality. And that is not to say I am above this. I have gotten sucked into online games. And I have found myself swiping Tinder or Bumble out of boredom. But we need to stop treating the online world like a game, and start really interacting again with a world outside of our phones.
For my part, after 7:30 PM I have been trying to put my phone in my bedroom if not sooner. I have it with me all day for work, so I am trying to give myself a few hours of freedom from it. I am trying to be much more clear, of what I am looking for on the online dating community thereby decreasing how many people I am chatting to at once. So when I do meet someone, I am not looking back upon months of e-mails and texts wondering how much time I just sunk into something that is going nowhere.
I just want my interactions to be real, and not simulated or fake. We all know that texts get misinterpreted and are a terrible medium for communication. So I am trying to break free from this. I pick up the phone a lot more often and actually talk to a human when I can. Risks have rewards. That’s why we take them. They make our life exciting and interesting. You cannot tell your friends about this hot chick you breadcrumbed on Tinder. It’s lame, stop doing it. Get out there! Make your life real and authentic.