Thursday, 29 May 2014


I found inspiration in the most likely place, the biography of Jim Henson.  I have been a Muppet fan for most of my life, from the Muppet Show, to Fraggle Rock, and of course my favorite movie being Labyrinth.  I love that feeling of sheer joy every time I see a Muppet character on screen, and more than that, I love how I can re-watch a movie years later and find some new little detail or innovation.  I love that sense of childhood wonder, with an adult understanding of all the hard work and boundary pushing that went into each and every piece of work that Jim Henson created.  Now why would I decide to write about my love for Muppets on my relationship blog other than because it makes me happy?  Quite simply, I was inspired by how he viewed life and all the human beings around him.

I could spend post after post, complaining about how we no longer connect with our fellow man.  That as we become more globally connected we become more individually isolated.  It is a phenomenon that has been predicted in countless books, and philosophised by numerous people over the past decade and I for one see so many daily indications of it that it is hard to ignore.  And just when I was becoming a little jaded and irritated about the whole scene, I began reading this amazing book (thanks of course to E!).  I began reading the story of man who lived his entire life without ever losing his sense of wonder.  Who never stopped challenging himself and his team to push the boundaries of technology, and was a creative genius to the end.  All with the one simple idea that we must love each other and be good to our fellow man.  Not preachy, just hopeful.  The type of man who was quiet, yet self assured and when he walked into a room everyone wanted to be noticed by him. 

I was rejuvenated after reading about his life and all of the amazing things he accomplished for purely unselfish reasons.  He challenged himself because he loved to explore and expand his chosen field.  He wanted to try to push his medium because he believed in himself completely.  And isn’t that precisely what we should all be striving for?  In our work, in our alone time, and of course in the relationships that we have with those around us?  By believing in ourselves first and foremost, and pushing ourselves to accomplish what we believe in.   

I sit here writing, surrounded by a group of people physically pushing themselves to the extremes of human sport.  They were students, and now adventures, trying to find new ways to fly.  While I push myself to document every aspect that I can.  Learning the very difficult art of action filming to capture all their hard work and determination.  That leap from passive viewer, to active participant in a community that I didn’t  even know existed 5 years ago.  Passion for life, passion to be the best you can, to keep learning and never stop innovating and thinking.  Thank you Jim Henson, for living the best way you knew how.  I have cherished your creations, with wide eyed wonder, and fascination, and now by having a better understanding of your life, I am even more inspired to continue my path.

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Life is About Choices

I have the choice on a weekly basis to post a little bit about myself or make a statement on how I view a situation that I have experienced.  Just as I have a choice, you too have a choice to read or comment on that.  Sometimes it hurts to know that the people who should be in your corner for better or for worse just do not have the capacity to do so.  If members of my family and friends are not comfortable with reading my blog I am absolutely OK with that.  I know there are things that I write with which a parent or long time friend just does not want to know about.  Again that is perfectly fine, what I have a problem with is the people who have decided to treat me different as a result.  It is one thing to have different views and opinions, it is quite another to allow those views sour a relationship.  If you do not have the strength to say that you do not like something about me and would rather let it fester until the relationship dissolves itself then that is all on you.  Also to try and attack me through my comments section of this blog adds very little to the conversation. 
I write to help myself and keep my thoughts and feelings clear.  I write in a blog because I am certain that there are people out there with whom share similar thoughts or feelings, or just have a morbid curiosity for the lifestyle that I am in.  And a few very gracious people have even remarked that they just read because they like how I write, which always makes me blush.  But honestly, to harbor feelings of anger, or angst towards me because of how I choose to live my life makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.   I do not force my sometimes graphic content down anyone’s throat, again I write for myself primarily. 

I wake up almost every morning thankful for the happiness that I have found and the meaningful relationships that I have developed.  But these relationships do take at least two people and if there are things about me that you do not like, decide if you can overlook, or let it go.   I have been closing the door to people who just do not make sense to keep in my life, and although it is a tough choice to make, I know that sometimes it is the only true way to obtain real happiness.  I live for myself, and not for the comfort of those around me.

I challenge myself on a daily basis to be fair, kind, and a better communicator, striving to be more clear and concise.  I set these challenges because I want the most out of life and the choices I make are my own.  I am so impressed and amazed with the people who constructively challenge my ideas, and share personal stories to show me a different side of things.  I write about subject matter that I have thought critically about and my hope is that it does the same for a few of you too.  Don’t allow my lifestyle to affect you in a negative way.  I am not a “crazy bitch”, rather I live honestly and seek to express myself and my sexuality in a positive way, with both words and pictures and damnit that is my choice!

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Update... At Long Last

I have been going through the motions these past through months of being overwhelmed to the point of tears, followed by this strange sense of satisfaction at just how lucky I am to have everything that I do in my life.  I began a new career earlier this year and the transition has definitely taken its toll on my emotional, and physical self.

I allowed myself 3 months to get saturated in the role that could very well dictate how I earn a living for the rest of my life, and well, writing this blog had to take a back seat for a little while.  In saying that, I could not have timed things better, and by that I mean, letting go of an emotional burden that had been with me for years.  Honestly, not having the burden of trying to please unappeasable parents was the saving grace that allowed me to focus on my wants and needs over this new year.  And to ensure that I was making a choice for my future, with my well being as my sole consideration. 

I have some pretty big goals for the future, and it seems that I always made choices around family. This time, I made a decision for me, that would make my future bright, which would result in better things for me and my partner down the road, rather than making the choice for him and I in the present that would make us more comfortable now.  I know that may not sound clear, because there are a lot of complicated emotions tied up in that one little statement.  I have always tried to make room for my family in my life choices, which has caused me to make shorter term choices with lots of flexibility so I could be there for those in my life that I love, whenever they needed me.  This was a tough decision, because I am now locked in.   I gave up any and all flexibility and now have a strong path, that I cannot turn away from or just give up if my partner gets an opportunity elsewhere.  It was the right move, plain and simple.  Just not one, that I would have had the confidence to have made 5 years ago.

So in summary, my three months of sink or swim at work are over, (I think I just may be a swimmer) and I will get back to posting regularly.  Thanks to all of you who checked in on me during the lull.  And thanks truly to all those who continued to look through some older posts even though there was no new content for a while.  I am back, energized, and have some great material in the works.  Oh, and in case any of you were wondering, I am now a machinist and run a few wire EDM  machines.  I get to actually write a program, imput it into a machine and physically create something when I am done!  It is tough work, but so far incredibly rewarding.