Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Relationship and Self Help Books

Save your relationships with these easy steps, divorce with dignity, should you stay or should you go, these are a few of the more common book themes aimed at assisting with relationships and sex problems facing our society today.  Make no mistake, it is a million dollar industry, and one that each and every one of us have subscribed to at some point in our dating life.  At what point though, do we stop and think about what we are subscribing to?  That perhaps there is a bigger issue at hand, one that a relationship rescue mission will not be able to save.  Why are we working against our human nature by looking for these quick fixes, and these bandaid type solutions?  Are any of us actually seeking the reason for our relationship issues?

In the same breath, why are we losing the ability to communicate with our fellow man at such an alarming rate?  Why have we become such pussies, afraid to say what we mean, and mean what we say.  Sarcasm is often an excuse to soften a real opinion.  Or the worse scenario, where we don't talk and instead just ignore a person completely to avoid any unwanted conflict.  A friend of mine has just gone through a situation whereby the guy stopped talking to her out of the blue.  There was no breakup text, no phone call, no email, just one day radio silence.  We both figured this was an isolated incident and chalked it up to the guy just being emotionally immature.  That was until it happened again with a new guy a few months later, things going great and then just like that, nothing.  And I have heard complaints of the same variety from guys in regards to women they are pursuing.  The lady seems happy, then just one day, stops returning texts or phone calls.  A very clear pattern is starting to form.  A pattern of emotionally fearful humans. 

Maybe it is because the current generation has never been on the receiving end of a slammed phone.  Has never experienced that shock at holding a dead phone in your hand, after that unmistakable angry click.  This new generation has never felt that sinking feeling in your tummy, then learned how to react without vengeance, followed by the realization that your world did not just end.  Or that sensation of having a door slammed in your face when you were a jerk to someone else, a well deserved punishment, we are too afraid to do to another human, lest they get offended.  We have lost that ability to interact face to face.  Instead we opt to text the person our feelings, even in the same room to lessen the emotional burden.  To ease embarrassment, and try and take the squeamish feeling away.  It is a scary thought, the notion that we are afraid of our own emotions and terrified of reactions from those around us.  We misinterpret emotions in text messages a hundred times a day.  Then we follow this up with a failure to respond ever again, no closure, just taking the easy way out. We end the artificial texting relationship without so much as a frowny face. 

So keep buying those relationship self help books.  They are written for a very good reason, we as a society need assistance in dealing with the world around us.  But please first, put down the phone, stop typing that well thought out e-mail, and stop tweeting that so and so is the biggest douche on the planet.  Have some real face time, learn again to read body language, watch facial cues, or maybe just hug it out.  Once you have mastered this basic element of human interaction, you might be better equipped to move on to a relationship with more that one human being at a time... just maybe.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

My 2013 Review

Some very important changes have come about in the 2013 year. In my personal life, with my blog, and some extra curricular too.  Resolutions are hard to keep going for an entire 365 with the same gumption that began them on January first, and in my case the reason is that I tend to forget I even made them in the first place.  Hence why I would much rather take a critical look at the past year then try to put the same drive into the upcoming year, and in a few areas, quite a bit more.  

If you have been a reader for more than a few months, you will have noticed the addition of photo’s onto my blog.  This was one of the more challenging decisions that I made in 2013.  Coming to terms with my openness not just by writing, but with action as well, and now the added visual aspect took a little while to wrap my head around.  It was a change that I was toying with for over a year, and finally brave enough to press the add picture button towards later part of the year.  I look forward to seeing where my photographers want to take the pictures as it is a whole new place of artistic expression which I feel adds depth to my work, and seems to have added a few readers as well.  On a side note, if you enjoy photography, have any new ideas, perhaps just a brand new camera to break in, and would like to contribute in that end I would love to hear from you.

The coolest challenge that I worked on was in regards to my non writing hobbies, which mainly includes skydiving.  On thanksgiving I achieved my AFF in Canada, and obtained the same status in the US a few months later.  Being able to solo jump is one of the more challenging tasks I have undertaken.  It is physically exhausting at times, weather frustrating and of course expensive.  With that said, I have always loved plane rides combined with the feeling of leaving a plane for those few seconds of freefall is an experience that I will not even attempt to describe, simply it is amazing.  Sweat, a little blood and many tears have gone into this sport thus far, and I look forward to enjoying the laughter and thrills for years to come now that I have overcome the pass or fail stage. 

Now for the personal side of things, which I know is why you all keep coming back.  Moving in with E was a roller coaster of emotions.  From long distance, to full time, to long distance and back again, we went from intermediate communicators to near experts.  The foundation that we built over the past few years was critical in helping us survive the challenges that our relationship has faced over the last 6 months especially.  Learning to let go of that fear of rejection and just love with my whole heart is my most treasured accomplishments thus far.  I could never have achieved this without a partner who allows me to fail, and supports me when I pick myself back up.  I am so grateful for the partner I have found, through the ups and downs.  er

And finally, a complete understanding of the phrase ‘blood is thicker than water’, in that, the original quote is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.  I have been working towards building strong relationships with the friends around me, and letting go of all the commitments I felt obligated towards ie blood family members who do not show respect for me or my loved ones.  I redefined the meaning of the word family, found real peace of mind letting go of some blood ties that I allowed for far too long to affect me.  Blood kinship in my opinion should never be an obligation, it should be a privilege, or at the very least a mutually beneficial relationship.  There are still a few places I may trip up, but for the most part, I have let go of the emotional burden a few select members of my family have placed on my life.  

2013 was filled with soul searching, finding a real sense of peace, and accepting who I am.  Finding my own confidence to take risks and not rely on the superficial or superimposed bonds that I had for so long, and that weighed a little too heavily in on my mind.  2014 will result in some fairly large goals being achieved if I am able to keep the same momentum, and  that will result in a very natural and pleasant progression from 2013.  I am energized and excited to share my continued journey with you all.