Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Quantity vs Quality: The Orgasm

No clever introductions on this post, I am just going to jump right into the topic at hand, which is quantity versus quality of an orgasm.  In the past, I was with a partner for a long period of time and sex was not amazing.  It was good, yet there was something off about it, and I felt awkward even mentioning what that was to my close friends.  Years later, I can finally admit the problem, and that was the simple fact that quantity took more importance over quality.  How can one possibly be taken seriously when their main complaint of their sex life is that they are having too many orgasms?  From experience, you can’t.  Nothing about that statement allows for a conversation, an explanation or even a tiny little morsel of sympathy.  In fact, you get glares, and then the one ups begin.  “You think that’s a problem, try not getting laid at all”, or “what I would kill to just get one, so don’t complain about too many to me”. 

In fairness, I was most likely not explaining clearly what the issue with this really was.  Partially because no one stuck around long enough for me to verbally work out the rationale behind the complaint.  I tried to start with, “what I wouldn't give for a quickie” or variations of the same thinking process.  Though this would not have solved the problem, as orgasms were simply a means to an end, and I will now admit, it was a competition.  The two of us, would try to find ways for me to reach the O into the high 20’s.  The goal for me, to one day pass out, not be able to walk, and that sort of thing.  Sex was in fact a game.  And the sad reality, is that people get bored of games.  It is one thing to entertain into a friendly competition from time to time, but we are talking years of this.  Year with no inventiveness, no attention to detail, and absolutely no variety.  It was the tried and true method, then keep that going for as long as possible, as the high score wins.

Of course there is a biological basis for this phenomenon.  Men are hardwired to want sex in higher quantities to increase their rate of reproductive chances and therefore the survival of their very genes.  Woman on the other hand are hardwired to be choosy, as the cost of reproduction is much higher.  For example the energy it takes for a man to reproduce is very small, a one time shot.  Whereas, for a woman to reproduce, she must be able to carry the fetus for 9 months, sharing her resources, and continue to do so beyond that, into the infancy stage.   By sheer numbers alone, a man can have thousands of children, and the max number a female has ever reproduced was 69.  Men choose quantity, and woman choose quality.  And unfortunately the studies to show why men orgasm once, versus woman having the potential for multiple O’s are not conclusive by any measure, although I think the parallels between burden of procreation versus pleasure paint their own picture.


From this, I have deduced that quality overtakes quantity any day.  Perhaps it was my young age that thought having tonnes of orgasms was more important, and more impressive than just having amazing sex.  Perhaps having an affinity for numbers, being able to quantify was easier than saying I needed something different, that more meaningful feeling.  To be able to cum without aiming for a record, and instead having them with more intensity, variety, and passion seems quite satisfying.  As I get older, passion is a word that I can connect with more and more.  It is the ultimate level of satisfaction, that place where nothing gets in the way for a few moments.  Raw, emotional, and memory making tied up in a pretty little bow.  The quest for quality and passion, never to allow numbers to get in the way again is my own, and it was a strange realization to have so many years after the fact.