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Saturday, 7 September 2013

What I Love About Being Open

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough” Albert Einstein.  I read this quote a few weeks ago and it finally has come true for me.  I was able to conversationally explain my open relationship to a friend, with simplicity and contentment.  I know this may not seem like such a big deal, but for me, writing is my preferred method of communication.  And for a while now, I have been able to clearly define what my partner gets out of being open, but have lacked the ability to fully commit to what I love about being open.  I enjoy many facets, and have for quite some time, but now to be able to reach the level where I can express it with words in an enthusiastic way, was quite liberating.

To be a male in an open relationship seems quite logical to many people whether it is a lifestyle of your choosing or not.  It is easy to describe to someone else the desire for a man to hunt, to seek out new challenges and to love variety.  There is a certain logic to this, and let us be honest, both men and woman alike have experienced this when dating.  Whether this was a positive or negative place in your life of course is open for some debate.  If we keep in mind that we are not monogamous daters we can see how men may feel that they give up more when they enter into a committed monogamous relationship.  And like I mentioned, this in the past has been easy for me to explain to people.  What has been a little trickier is when the question of “what’s in it for you?” creeps up.

I love that I do not have to hide my sexuality.  Or to cage my natural urges whenever something new catches my eye.  I am free to flirt, to tease, and to say no whenever I choose to.  I am proud to be a sexual being, and I will never be the property or sole possession of one man.  I have complete freedom of my sexuality, and expression in whatever form I choose for that to take.  I can confidently meet new people without restrictions for how the friendship or relationship may evolve.  I make choices safely, and consciously for me and my body and will get to do so for the rest of my life. 

Of course, I do all of this with respect and compassion for my partner.  I would not put him in a position that he was uncomfortable or insecure.  And if I ever feel insecure, or uncomfortable I can discuss and talk to him about my thoughts and feelings.  It is open because we have communication, trust and self awareness for what we both want.  I cannot kid myself into believing that I always like his choices, nor can I pretend that who I spend time with is always the best choice.  There will be mistakes, hurt feelings from time to time, and the occasional heartache as people come in and out of our lives. 


I am in a relationship that allows me the identity that I thrive on.  I am in a relationship filled with love and compassion, joy and laughter.  Whatever the future may hold, I am happy in the here and now, without any regrets.  I am proud of my choices.  And so happy that I can now express myself fully and completely.

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