Thursday, 25 April 2013

If I Knew Then What I Know Now...

In my early adulthood I was in a monogamous relationship.  My boyfriend at the time was in a fraternity which had a house right across from where we all attended university, hence I was surrounded by a lot of men.  There were parties nearly every weekend there, and rarely was there an evening when you could not find someone who was willing to chill, or get obliterated with.  I have fond memories of those days, and many of the guys I have remained friends with to this day.  After reminiscing with a friend from those frat house days I really got to thinking about those long lost days.  The whole wish I could go back there, knowing what I know now, and do it all over again sentiment came up.  The thing about that is, I would be fearful of the trouble I would get into with my current knowledge, I don’t think I would be smarter, in fact I think I would have taken a lot more risks.

Let me set the scene a bit, I was surrounded by guys, pretty much daily.  I drank, swore, and partied with the best of them, and at times we got to see the worst of each other.  I was pretty much off limits though to anything more than the lightest of flirting.  I was part of the team, and had to have a few chats whereby I ensured that I was treated like one of the guys and not a chick available to bone.  Sex was completely off of the table, so I was comfortable just hanging out, making Jello shots, and drinking till dawn.  Sometimes I would have internal battles with myself whereby I wanted these guys to think I was sexy or good looking.  But every time that came up I would squash it, perhaps a part of me just did not trust myself.  Either way, I was sexually a very good girl considering all the opportunities that I could have pursued. 

But now looking back, knowing what I know now, I would not have been such a good girl.  I would have taken more risks, I would have flirted with opportunities and I most definitely would have done a whole heck of lot more sexual exploration.  Is that not what University is supposed to be about?  I am not sure if I would have had the mental maturity at the time to deal with everything that could have come up, so I am glad that things ended the way they did.  But I do envy some of the ladies who took advantage of the people and circumstances that this house provided.  Like I said, I was just not allowed to be sexualized there, and so unless someone was new in the house and did not know who I was, I rarely got flirted with or treated like a female.  It was an odd thing to come to terms with.  I guess if I really think about it, that could be why I stuck with D so long.  He was the only one to really pay me any sexual attention.  I was isolated from outside flirting.

I would never give up my potentially lifelong friends for what would have been an awkward one night stand, or inappropriate flirting.  However if I was able to go back in time, well there would have been temptation, and I would have absolutely learned how to flirt earlier.  I would have taken advantage of situations and made my mistakes with my peers all in the name of fun and adventure.   On the other hand perhaps there is truth in the rumors that no guy touched me because they believed I was underage when I first started hanging around.  And if that’s the case then I have misread all the years  that have passed since those party days.  But truthfully, I would have been a handful if I was who I am now with that house, so no regrets about what I know now.  

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Picket Against Vasectomies Today!

I have heard quite a few radio ads as of late, trying to sell vasectomies as a quick and painless procedure for men.  Vasectomies are the number one method of male birth control and the ads are run at all hours of the day.  I have not heard any media discussion or any church groups that are working together to ban the airing of these ads.  Nor have I read any discussion that is working to force these doctors that provide this service to add in health warnings that vasectomies do not prevent STI’s or STD’s.  The men and their available method of birth control, is simply left alone.  Men do not need a referral from their doctors in most cases to book an appointment, they can simply make an appointment over the phone and ‘snip snip’ their boys no longer run the risk of creating babies.  

Where are the protests?  Where is the public outcry that governments should regulate the male body? 
Parents are free to choose to circumcise their baby boys, and grown men are free to choose to get a vasectomy or a circumcision.  Men have the freedom of choice when it comes to their penis.  Doctors may choose to council their patients out of having a vasectomy if too young but these are individual decisions without regulation or restriction from the government.  The responsibility lies in the highly educated medical professional making a recommendation to his patient and patient doing what he feels is right for him, nothing more and nothing less.  

In case anyone may be making the wrong conclusions from the above, let me be clear that I think all of the above is perfectly acceptable.  Men should be free to make their own choices with their own bodies free of government regulations and restrictions.  Men look to the medical professionals to perform a required service when they have worked towards an educated decision for their own bodies.  There is no counseling required, just a few waivers and paperwork followed by a quick in and out.  

Maybe this is in part because vasectomies are not being blamed for the disintegration of our society, or the demoralizing about what sex’s true purpose is.  Men are not being hounded and picketed for making a choice that stops the creation of life.  They are not murders for failing to allow their millions of swimmers from reaching their targeted goal.  Or perhaps the media just forgot to report on all the religious rights who are trying to end vasectomies today.  Just something to think about if you have ever tried to restrict a woman from doing what she feels is necessary to ensure that she prevents procreating when the time is not appropriate.  Men have freedom of choice, and woman should have no less than equal consideration.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

A Few of My Laugh or Cry Moments

With a bold new photo up and a few NSFW posts I decided I should probably write a post that was bit lighter in nature.  So I am going to share with you all a few memorable moments from my past that have really shaped who I am today, for better or for worse.  When I was a teenager I worked retail selling shoes, which in of itself is a resource for many many stories.  But it was the women I worked with, who really played that key role in aiding the formation of my current open state of mind far from my youthful naive nature.  From boob job inspections, to ladies trying on shoes without underwear in tight little white sundresses, I saw a lot.  It really desensitized me, and lead to my now apparent lack of shock when new or strange situations present themselves.  Perhaps that is why I write in such a matter of fact manor and can fail to recognize when a post I have written comes off as funny.  Here are two such moments for your consideration and perhaps even some amusement.

It was closing time at the shoe store and one of my co-workers was being picked up by her boyfriend.  This was my first time meeting him, so I introduced myself and then went about with my closing duties.  I remember thinking how good looking he was, and I was a little embarrassed at how bright red I went when I shook his hand.  The next day my co-worker laughingly told me that her boyfriend’s first impression of me was that “I was an in the closet dominatrix”.  To say that I was speechless and confused was an understatement and I still have no idea what could have possibly given him that impression.  This was the first of many bizarre first impressions that I have given off, and actually prompted me to start writing oddities like this down.

Next up, we have me trying to make an appointment for my cat Spaz.  He had an infection and I needed to take him in to my vet for some antibiotics.  I was not supposed to use the phone in my cubicle for personal calls at work, so I was trying to be very quiet and discreet on the phone.  A lady answered the phone and I told her who I was and gave her my cat’s name.  She mumbles something and I just barely heard the words “pearl necklace”.  “What?” I whispered very sharply.  “Do you have a pearl necklace” repeats the woman on the on the other end.  “Excuse me!?”  I demand getting a little too loud for my cubicle.  “Are you wearing a pearl necklace?” she repeats.  I am extremely agitated by this point and getting quite angry.  Who the hell is asking me about something so inappropriate from my vet’s office?  So I almost yell into the phone “I don’t know who the hell this is, but this is incredibly inappropriate to ask somebody!  Who is this?.”  The woman on the phone is now laughing her ass off and through fits of giggling gets out her name.  All of a sudden all the pieces fall right into place.

When I worked at the aforementioned shoe store, one of my assistant managers was describing to me how messy sex was, during business hours of course.  From the noises to the messy cleanup down your leg it was all very graphic and detailed.  I was not very experienced in the sex at this point so she asked me knowingly if I ever got pearl necklaces.   I looked blankly and she very matter of fact told me what those were and how much nicer the clean-up was afterwards.   A few days later she grabbed a notebook and drew a cute stick girl with a real pearl necklace.   To this day I still have that drawing in my desk.  This former co-worker who years before had drawn me this picture was now working for my vet’s office and had been just waiting for the day when I called in.  Oh and on a side note, it was interesting at best telling the girl who sat across from my cubicle this story in a edited for workplace manor why I started yelling on the phone.  

I have so many more stories of a similar nature it was actually a little difficult to pick just these two to share.  These random moments as I said have really shaped how I react to things, or more truthfully just turn red and  watch in amazement at the randomness that is my life sometimes.  A co-worked of mine told me recently that sometimes hearing my stories and the strange incidents that make up my life, he feels like my life is an episode of Peanuts.  I guess deep down I understand what he is getting at, just shrug and laugh it off.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Am I Allowed to Talk About the O Face? NSFW

There have been quite a few studies done about the chemistry of kissing, and the hormones, pheromones, scent, taste etc that go into sexual attraction.  We are all curious if there is a reason we are turned on when we see so and so walking down the street, versus ignoring the other thousand people that we encounter daily.  Doctors and scientists debate the issue of whether there is some chemical  basis between two individuals and their spark, if it is emotionally based or just a range of other factors all working together.  I could add to this debate, but there is one item that I want to weigh in on a little more specifically, and that is the cum face or the vinegar strokes that appear moments before the point of no return.  Yes, this is why I had to put another NSFW in the title. (I actually have a funny story about how I learned about what NSFW meant, and octopus porn, but I will save that for another time!)

I do not know if other people out there agree with me, or even recognize this as something that plays into their compatibility with their partners. More likely it is just something that people do not discuss in polite conversation.  And it is a hard subject to research online, as the amount of actual porn that comes up far outweighs any real research.  So here is something I have figured out for myself, and researched by getting my friends really drunk and asking them in awkward social groups.  And that is, could you be with a partner whose cum face turned you off?  As a follow up to that, can you learn to enjoy a partner’s cum face, to gradually be turned on by the thought of it or is it an all or nothing sort of thing.  How does that O face really factor into your sex life and your overall attraction? 

I have heard the horror stories of people giggling when they encountered a new sexual partners orgasm face, and the moments right beforehand.  I personally have been turned off by a partner or two’s “cumming “ reaction.  And I have felt awful about it afterwards, but it turned out to be a really big red flag for me.  If I did not enjoy watching my partner get off, then we could not proceed.  I want those moments when I am lost in thought, and have a happy shudder thinking about the knee jerk expression of raw sex.  That is how I want to think about all my partners past and present.  I feel like I have lost out when I do not have that.  Perhaps that is how some people feel about kissing.  That electrical spark that seems to snap through the air the first time your lips meet.  For me, the first kiss is nothing more than a first kiss.  I may feel that spark once in memory and then that is it.  The memory that lasts for me is that cum face.  The sound, and visual are almost permanently stamped in my memory.  I lament when that O face sucks, and is void of a sound to give me a full memory to come back to.

And I am almost positive that a females orgasm face can have the same effect on a man.  It took me a long time to gain some self confidence in that department.  To be able to get lost in the moment and not care what I looked like, and most importantly for me, not care about just how stupidly red my face gets!  I even tried to minimize how many times I would orgasm so that I would not be so red.  Ah, to be young and stupid again.  I have now come to appreciate that I cannot change what I look like, or what my partners look like.  It will either be a turn on, or a turn off and that will be the end of things.  So hopefully I have not created any unnecessary complexes by writing about this.  

The big O face matters to me and my sex life.  I hope each and every one of you who read this will take a moment and think about what your partner’s cum face looks and get a little turned on, or a lot.  And if you would like to share your thoughts on what your partners O face means to you, I would love to hear about it, for science of course!

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Perceptions About Penis Size: Thanks Porn

So my last post may have come across a little critical of porn for making things look easier said then done.  But I also want to touch a bit on some good things it has done for society... and more specifically for me.  I have written a topic or two on porn just porn and how it should not be a threat to any relationship if viewed in moderation and respectfully.  And as a follow up to that, porn is more than just hot, and a way for humans to get off, porn can also be useful in our sex negative society.  Of course I say that with full knowledge that there is something out there for everybody, and I do mean everybody, which is not always a good thing.  There is not a soul out there who in good conscience can say there is any positive to child pornography.  That one is an open and shut case and I do not think needs any further discussion.

But what about my claim that some porn is actually useful and goes a step forward to creating more whole, sexual human beings?  I, growing up, was always told that men have penis envy.  Men are shy about their junk, and get easily embarrassed when they get compared to other men.  I have been told that the worst thing a girl can ever do is to tell their partner about the other penis’ they have seen, or in anyway, shape or form compare dick sizes.  This has been drilled into my head over and over, by peers, media and various other forms of social normalization I have encountered.  To go a step further, I have also been taught that men must always believe that their penis is the biggest and the best, and that it hurts their manhood to discover that some other guy is more endowed than they are.  Perhaps I am the only girl who was ever taught this extremely short-sighted  and largely inaccurate stigma.

I mentioned before a book called “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” by  Ogi Ogas and Sai Goddam, and I feel now is a great time to touch on it again.  One of the chapters specifically discussed how men are more turned on in heterosexual porn when the men in scene have a big cock.  And not just a large cock, but an extremely large cock.  This is contrary to anything I had ever heard before.  My assumption would have been that viewing a penis smaller than their own would have been more satisfying from a male dominance angle, but truth is stranger than fiction.  Thanks in part to porn and viewing larger penis’ men seem to have come to terms with other dicks being larger than their own.  I do not think this concept could be possible without having porn readily available.  And the benefits for their partners are also there.  That fear of admitting you have slept with a man who was extremely well endowed is less apparent.  Talking about it, in some cases, can even be a huge turn on.  Men are actually becoming less frightened with regards to cocks and potential inadequacies.  Honestly this concept is just downright fascinating to me.

Ron Jeremy is an icon, but he not just an icon for woman.  He is a man’s man and every interview or comment I have read about him states that he is just a really nice guy.  Why is the average man not terrified that his partner is comparing his much smaller genitals to the obviously bigger porn stars?  This is what I was lead to believe for so many years, and it amazes me just how far from the truth this actually is.  Yes, there are men who are uncomfortable with their sizes and are insecure, just as there are woman who fantasize about playing with the massive cock, but these are actually exceptions and not the norm.  And that is a really good thing, a thing that needs to continue despite what the media, would like to have us believe.  Porn is not some evil entity that is ruining our sex lives, in fact it is enhancing it.  Giving us a real visual for what is out there.  Eliminating the need to wonder and therefore worry about what might be hiding in your next door neighbors pants.  Porn is helping to alleviate the fear of the unknown, allowing us to overcome those preconceived notions that do our society harm.  Penis size is just one small way that porn is helping our society become more sex positive, and also I really like writing a blog post where I can say dick and cock so many times.

Friday, 5 April 2013

Porn Makes it All Look So Easy (NSFW)

Pick your hottest scene in a porn flick, I am going to go with Cuckold/Hot wife porn for the sake of argument.  If you do not know what that is, please by all means add it to your list of viewing this evening, but I will briefly describe the scene I have in mind, hypothetically of course.  So the scene opens with a woman getting pounded by a very large cock.  Oh no, in walks her husband who is humiliated by the violation he is witnessing.  The large cocked guy continues to pound said woman in front of the husband who by this point is watching on the sidelines.  The woman yells at her husband that this is what a huge cock looks like, and that he is small by comparison.   Large cocked man cums inside the woman, and the husband is told to enjoy the sloppy seconds.  By the end everybody cums, and everyone’s fantasy comes true.

Why did I just write something so graphic here?  For the simple fact that there is so much that goes on behind the scene’s to make something like this actually work outside of a porn set.  For starters, every participant is a real human being with wants and needs.  How does one go about getting every participant on board?  Where does the first cock go after he cums?  Does he just go home, feeling rejected and used?  And how exactly do all parties get to the room?  Do you have a round of drinks first, work out all the details, and hope for the best?  I pay a lot of attention to detail, and it is important to me that everyone’s needs are taken care of.  Porn gives you a sneak peak into the fantasy, but it is exhausting trying to actually accomplish all required details so no one is left wanting or without a role.

It is wonderful to say, yes I want a threesome, but the actual mechanics of it, especially if you want to do it right and hope for more in the future, can be daunting.  I learned a very important lesson with my first ffm.  And that was quite simply that being drunk and having sex with two people is absolutely not my cup of tea.  I was left with horrible feelings, and insecurities for weeks afterwards, and the two people were good friends of mine.  But for me, booze took over my rational thought, and it was just a very messy situation.  It took a long time to rebuild those friendships that were really put onto rocky ground, and with the first hand learning I now take a lot of care and caution firstly towards my own feelings and those who are participating with me.  The people I know who have threesomes or moresome’s on a yearly basis or more always show respect for all parties involved.  Everyone gets a say, and the intent is to meet as many needs as possible.  Even if that means putting aside an O or two during, but taking the time to fulfill afterwards.  It is all about communication after all and always ensuring that people feel like they matter.

In the end, it can be hard work and an orchestrating nightmare, but the rewards are what drive us forward.  Force us to take risks, plow forward and fulfill our fantasies.  Porn makes it look really easy, and although it is not, those memories last a lifetime.