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Friday, 29 March 2013

Why Hate an Open Relationship?


So often I read about people’s opinions and hatred of open relationships, which bothers me knowing there is still so much misinformation on something that goes on every day, and sometimes for very loving reasons.  For example a woman is desperate to keep the man in her life when he gets transferred over sea’s for work.  She is looking for advice to in how to propose an open relationship so that they can continue to have their needs met physically, but maintain an emotional relationship while time and space keep them apart.  Instead of advice, she encounters judgement, hatred and anger from her peers that she is looking to for help.  This is just an example that I read about yesterday morning and I just cannot get it out of my head.  Whether I agree with this woman and her decision to keep her relationship alive over long distances is completely irrelevant.  She is seeking advice on how to lovingly enter into a relationship scenario that will forever change how she perceives commitment and monogamy.  To bash her, or to tell her the relationship is over, is baffling to me.

But it brings me to a point that has a real soft spot for me.  Every person has opinions, some are the result of how we were raised, some experiences, and my hope is that someday our opinions are all based on education and giving fair value to all sides of the debate.  I feel that these people, who judge this would be relationship altering woman, are judging out of fear.  Fear that perhaps having open relationships and commitments would somehow break down the moral fibre of what being in a relationship should entail in the western society we live in.  That fear of changing an ideal that quite frankly cannot work in every single situation across the board.  But the truth of the matter is, what I choose to do in my bedroom and with the people in my life does not affect my friendships with those I love.  I have not become corrupt, or lost my values and goals in life.  I am not living without love and support, nor keeping my love and support from those around me.  My open relationships do not instill fear from those who know me, and they do not walk on eggshells around me, or hide their children from me.  There is no fear, because there is no reason to have fear.

I hope that writing about my experiences has provided a bit of education to others.  If nothing else proved that I am not some freak show who should be studied because I do not fit the mould of monogamy.  I do not want my tone to portray that of a defensive stance aimed at the naysayers, but more a plea to educate yourself prior to putting forth an opinion.  Especially one that can make another person feel bad. It seems simple enough, but to demean another person because their views do not line up with your own, well you can fill in whatever word you want there to call them.  I promote love, education, self improvement, and all around doing things that make you happy.  Life is short, so live it for yourself and do not get mixed up in feeling that you need to judge everyone and everything that goes on around you.  

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