When I was in my early 20’s the idea of
even walking into a sex store terrified me.
My boyfriend at the time would have to go in alone and I would literally
hide in the car so that no one could see me.
After a few visits I would ask him to go inside and tell me if there was
anyone creepy before I would go inside. Then one magical day I mustered up the
courage to go and look inside. I touched
NOTHING and barely even looked at anything.
I was twitchy and grouchy, begging to leave as soon as possible. Completely insecure about what I was
surrounded by and having no concept about the added pleasure that items in the
sex store could provide. I felt a real
threat by inanimate objects, and I bet I am not the only one out there who has
felt like this at one time or another.
What really helped me loosen up was of all
things, going to a sex toy party with my mom.
I was squeamish and a little icked out.
But all in all, I was surrounded by woman who were laughing, drinking
wine, and celebrating their sexuality.
We were all laughing at the ridiculous tingling creams, tasting the
flavoured lubes, and egging each other on to make purchases that would make our
men swoon. It was amazingly liberating. Sex toys became fun, and were explained to me
in a really fun and friendly environment.
The woman at the party varied in ages from early 20’s (myself) all the
way up to mid 60’s. And each and
everyone there was having fun. Even the
most timid woman who was in her 40’s surprised us all by bravely sampling the
newest jelly concoction to increase the fires below.
After that point, my very irrational fears
started to diminish. The thing that was
never explained to me was suddenly shown in a really sex positive format. I wrongly had perceived sex toys as something
used when things were not working, rather than aids to make things even better
or just add some variety. I went from
hiding in the back of my car at sex stores, to the woman here, writing about my
relationships and things that give me joy from a sexual perspective. I have made quite the journey so far, and in
my estimation it just keeps getting better and better the more open to new
possibilities that I become.
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