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Sunday, 15 April 2012

Practice Makes Perfect

The people that say things have often remarked that practice make perfect.  Suppose though that I don’t want perfect, and that I am tired of practicing.  Where exactly does that leave a person?  Perhaps my logic is flawed knowing that perfection is boring and that I do not want to be the sun, moon and stars for one person.  I want to be loved and love in return, for the moment, and for the future with the flaws.  I have a fantasy life that often comes to mind.  In this life, I meet a guy and we hit it off right away.  We make each other laugh and have instant communication, plus the sex is amazing.  Then we do the most impulsive thing, and that is we run over to the justice of the peace and get married on the spot.  Now that we are married we find a way to make each other and ourselves as happy as possible.  All selfishness melts away and we are two people who are in love and now have enough on the line to truly make a go of things, 50/50 as it were. 

So in this scenario I suppose the biggest factor that I am eliminating from my life is the whole part about practicing.  I am truly frustrated and tired of the trial and error, never quite knowing if the other person is as invested as you yourself are.  The games played of gaining and losing trust, of sharing everything yet keeping parts a mystery.  This very time consuming and sometimes unrewarding endeavour of the dating world is anything but appealing in the here and now.  And yet our society as a whole seems to be encouraging more and more conventions that make a relationship about practice.  We now have an overload of people to choose from on the online dating community.  Whereas before, a blind date that your friend or family set up, took so much time and effort that you really made an effort to get to know the person. 

The idea of sex before marriage has been frowned upon by church and state for decades.  But the rarity today is to not have full sexual chemistry prior to saying the “I do’s”.  40 years ago it was unheard of to move in prior to getting married, a major social faux pas.  However in our current climate, the push is now to live together for at least a year or longer to really see if you would be compatible in marriage.  The push seems really to encourage practice, and variety, but I find myself wondering if this is all really worth it.  Is the result a happier and healthier relationship in the long run?  Or does all the trial and error really just set up the unrealistic expectation that we should be holding out for perfection?  And if perfection does not actually exist, which I would argue does not, then what really is the point of all the safeguards being built prior to marriage.

To what end and purpose does practice make perfect?  If we finally achieved the perfect climax and orgasm, would we then no longer need to have sex?  Or would we just keep having sex far beyond the monotony and put sex back in time where it became only for procreation and not for the pleasure and adventure?  Does all the practicing take away from the real goal, and the ability for couples to say forever?  Is divorce finally on the decline for all of this additional work that couples must do prior to even taking their vows?  I for one am getting dizzy from all the questions and lack of answers.  There seems to be a real push to encourage extra time spent prior to starting a family and perhaps the generation making this push are doing it with wisdom and the best of intentions.  Again though, I am getting tired of the practice, and curious about more permanent surroundings.

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