Tuesday, 20 March 2018

It’s Spring! And Here Are a Few of My Favorite Things…

This is my first ever favorite things blog!  I always read about mainstream bloggers who write something like this, some who promote products even write one every month!  So I figured after blogging for over 6 years I am long over due!  So join me in my celebration of some of my favorites!

I love sex, my partner and orgasms.  Phew, OK, glad we got that out of the way first!  Oh, and I love dick, with consent of course! And boobs are pretty OK too!

I adore the freedom of being able to blog and express myself in a sex positive and body positive way.  While my writing is not always perfect, many readers see my passion, and will overlook a grammatical issue or two, and that leads to my next favorite thing!   

My readers! You, guys, who read, ask questions, comment, and even the ones who poke fun of me are all fantastic!  I love the engagement I receive from you.  In my first few years of blogging I felt like I was a writing for an audience of just me.  While beneficial for sorting out the first few years of openness, I have thoroughly enjoyed the last few years of blogging a whole lot more!  My relationship with my blog has gone from one -sided work work work, to a fun mutual engagement.  And we can learn from each other! So thank you! 

Next on the list, is beer, patios and sunshine!  I don’t think any explanation is required here as all three are supremely awesome. 

Moving on, I would like to say a very special shout-out to all the men, and women, but mostly men who appreciate the sexual being I am without crossing the lines.  I know, sometimes you make mistakes and react with your small head instead of your big one, but this is what makes you my favorites.  Owning up to the mistake, and by making modifications to not do it in the future.  This whole blog of mine arose out of the mistakes I have made in non-monogamy.  I am pro at them, but I also am sincere in my desire to learn, grow and choose better reactions in the future.  And that trait is what I love about you guys!  You probably started following for the pictures, but occasionally you bring a smile to my face by reading an article or two and commenting afterwards
in a completely open minded and awesome way.

And finally, I want to give a bit shout out to my library and all the books in my past, present and future.  Reading fires my soul, and being able to share my love of books with you guys and my clients is pretty amazing.  It has been an amazing challenge to write my first book (a memoir of sorts), and although I am only a 3rd of the way to my ultimate goal, it is a labour of love.  And I know there will be large sappy tears shed when I hold my first published book in my hands, which I hope won’t be too many years away!  Haha.

After jotting the list of my favorites down, I can see why other bloggers write these so often!  I feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle the spring and all the challenges that this next year is going to bring.  And now I ask you have you written your spring favorites?  I would love to hear them and keep this cycle of incredible positivity after a long winter going.  So please comment, tweet or just write a few things down just for yourself that celebrate your own favorites! 

Would you like to be an added ray of sunshine in my world and see some sexy pictures in return?  Consider subscribing to my Patreon!

Friday, 16 March 2018

Perceptions About Penis Size: Swingers Edition

One of my more popular posts and definitely the one that shows up in searches most frequently is  this.  With penis and porn right in the title, it’s no wonder as men are fascinated by both.  That post was written long before I ventured to a swing club, and had never been in a room with more than 2 penis’s at a time.  Life has been kind to me since then, especially now that I frequent lifestyle clubs.  If you haven’t read that post I touch on the idea that large dicks found in porn are something many men want to see and actually seek out specifically in their porn searches. 

But this is the swing club edition and things are a little different in this community.  What do I mean by that?  Let’s take a look at some swinger online forums, followed by a brief description of what I see in the real world, aka, in lifestyle clubs.

Firstly lets talk about what happens online.  If a guy posts that he has a large penis, and tries to discuss how some of his partners have complained or been off put by the size, he will get shamed.  He will get called out for bragging, or lying and basically be criticized for asking about a penis that is too big.  He doesn’t even have time to address his concerns the outcry is so loud.  Which is in stark contrast to what I have read about with men viewing porn with big dicks.  It’s scientifically documented in the search histories and porn hub, but with swingers, this does not seem to follow the standard rule.  Instead, men seem almost afraid to let a large dick into their midst.  It also seems by the chastising that occurs, men don’t seem to believe large dicks are a real thing, more like mythical creatures or objects.  And every single time I see a post about a large penis, someone cries out, “you’re not measuring it right… 99 percent of guys can’t measure it properly”.  And to that, I will actually agree, because as a woman, getting a professional to measure your breasts for a properly fitting bra is something that rarely happens but should.  Bras are extremely expensive and uncomfortable when not sized properly, yet we would rather guess and test.  Women have an actual necessity and still don’t do it.  Men, I don’t know of any professional penis measurers, other than the very accurate toilet paper roll test (I kid! And if you google, be prewarned it’s a dangerous rabbit hole) or why you would need it.  Ok, moving on.   

If a man on the other hand posts that he’s worried about being to small, every manor of male rushes to boost his confidence.  With don’t worry about it, make sure you focus on oral, or bring toys, or we gotcha, women don’t actually care about large cocks.  It’s astounding the comradery about a small dick, versus the shame of a large dick.  In the online forum world it seems good to be small or average and very very bad to be large.  Basically, the polar opposite to the porn we all seem to watch.  So I’m left a little puzzled.  Men of the swinger world, are you OK with watching a large cock on a laptop because you know it isn’t real?  Does having one in the swinging community feel a little too close to home?  Does it perhaps make you feel a little insecure? Or make it an uneven penis pool?  I’m just throwing ideas out there, because swinging men resoundingly do not like talking about big dicks.  I on the other hand love it!

Now ladies, I have the funniest feeling we may be part of the problem here.  Have you ever told your partner that his size was just fine and you wouldn’t change a thing?  Have you ever said that you would be afraid of a larger penis or something to that extent?  And further to that, did you actually mean it?  If you did, and you believe all these things, then perfect, good on you.  But isn’t swinging about variety, and trying something you don’t normally get?  I ask this, because when couples share an account on online discussions, the men talk quite a bit differently and much more open minded.  They will say things like, I want my wife to be satisfied.  I am A OK with a larger guy because she likes it, and her happiness means everything to me.  And all these responses are perfectly fine, we should be able to express our opinions freely, I just get a little pissed off when every single large penis is shamed for asking questions.  And further women who do care about penis size are actually stigmatized for being “size queens” and frowned upon in the online setting.  Mostly by men who are obviously immature and insecure, oh wait did that sound judgy?  My bad.  Maybe I have a sweet spot for them because I get absolutely destroyed online if I complain that a cannot find clothes to fit me.  Tiny frame, large breasts, my goodness don’t get me started on trying to buy a bikini!  Those things are expensive and I have to buy 2 sets because they don’t sell tops and bottoms separately!  And people don’t like hearing that because the jealousy and envy supersedes my issue.  OK, tangent over.

Now let’s move into the real world.  For you see, most outsiders believe that a swing club/sex club is basically live porn so obviously there should be massive cocks everywhere.  Le sigh, this just isn’t the case though, sorry, the secrets is out, we are just normal, everyday people.  So let’s delve into what real world penis’s look like and how actual men react to them.  In a club setting… nobody cares!  Yup, that’s right.  The stigma is almost entirely an online phenomenon.  If there are real life insecurities, they are dealt with behind closed doors, and almost exclusively come down to, are you ready for this? Getting it up!  Personality, conversation, humour, supersede the penis size.  I have never once heard a guy lean over to another guy and ask how big he is down there prior to playtime, unless there has been too much booze, as some people are just tactless assholes no matter where they are.  So, in summary as is almost always the case, you cannot trust the internet.  What we google search, what we talk about and what happens in the real world are vastly different things.  So relax, and enjoy what you got.  And if you think I’m being sexist, re-read this post swapping male anatomy for breasts, boobs, etc and you will see that we are all equal when it comes to judgement.

Thanks so much for reading.  And if you liked this post, and want to see more, I am revamping my Patreon to give my readers and followers what they really want… that’s right, more boobs (all in support of my book writing endeavors).

Monday, 12 March 2018

Never Have I Ever

It’s remarkable the changes that can happen in just a few years and the little things that most poignantly display that contrast between who you were and who you now are.  Never Have I Ever is a drinking game, whereby you drink to admit to all the things you have done in your life that the speaker has not.  You go around in a circle, learning all the little dirty secrets of your friends via shot guzzling admission.  And when I first played the game in my late teens I hated it.  Everyone around me was getting drunk, admitting to wild and crazy fun and there I was just sitting sipping my beer and lamenting my choices.  It was a game that made me feel like a prude.  And all I was left with, was being the sober one to clean up all the messes from the guys who got sloppy.  I’m confident that many were lying but that is beside the point.  Even the “Never Have I Ever” statements they came up with were more interesting than what I felt I had accomplished or experienced.

In summation, my life was lame!  

Flash forward to a decade and half later, and I am on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.  Whereby I don’t think I can safely survive playing that game now!  And please don’t get me wrong, this is not a humble brag.  In fact, I’m not sure that I can take credit for instigating even half of my amazing experiences over the past 8 years.  The responsibility for me exploring outside of my safe shell lies almost entirely with my partner.  His sense of adventure.  His lust for almost never saying no, and the overall quest to live life to the fullest and actually experience living has brought me to a place where I never expected to be (see what I did there?). 

But this blog isn’t about him, it’s about me. 

My exploration of non-monogamy has left me unable to safely play drinking games that involve sexual exploits.  I know, what a terrible problem to have.  But the last time I played it was almost embarrassing.  Never have I ever had a threesome… drink.  Had a foursome… drink.  Gone to a swing club… drink.  Got naked in public… drink.  Flashed a stranger… drink.  Sex in public… drink.  And now that I can’t stand up because I am so intoxicated, everyone is staring at me wondering, who is this average looking girl in our midst?  She seemed normal enough.  Does she live some sort of double life?  Is she lying?  Look at how red her face is!  Maybe she doesn’t know how the game works and thought she was supposed to drink every time she agreed with the never have I ever statement…. Hmmmm!

Over the past little while, while doing some soul searching and research for my first book, I find myself laughing quite frequently at where I am right now in life.  19 year old me would be shocked, and maybe a little horrified to know that Never Have I Ever is now a game my liver is terrified of.  And while that may seem like a silly, or minute example to you, in my mind it’s the perfect description of my complete 180.  It’s like I have shed the skin of the shy, timid, prude of the past, and am now looking in the mirror at a whole new me.  A sexy, confident, sex positive force to be reckoned with (well with enough liquid courage, some things haven’t changed that much!).   So farewell, to the drinking games of my past, and perhaps a hello there, to the Twister of my future?

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