Yesterday, while listening to CBC, I heard an advertisement that left me speechless. In Spain, where the rate of adultery averages 2.5 affairs per year per household, they have come up with a new revolutionary new product. A mattress, that notifies your smartphone when it is being used suspiciously, and they call it the Smartress . If you cannot trust your mattress to keep your dirty secrets, I mean, who can you trust? Let’s not even deal with the issue of how you explain the purchase of said mattress, or the logistics of getting updates from your bed. What if you have a dog that jumps up and down on it? Or your kid playing hookie from school and the bed catches them… wait… that could be added value right there. But back on point, you suspect that your partner is cheating, so you discreetly purchase a new bed to catch them in the act?
A few years ago, an app came out that would send you outgoing message notifications from your partners cell phone. Basically a nanny cam for a cell phone also known as actual spyware. To me it just seemed like click bait, so I honestly did not research how the actual device or software works. I just know for a while, every second ad online was screaming 'do you know who your spouse is texting right now?' It seemed obsessive, and ironically supported in part by Ashely Madison. So here we are, still in a culture where we do not trust our partner's so we sink to levels as low as them, to catch them doing something we feel is worse.
We all know the black and white movies where a lady in a trench coat seeks out the office door that has 'private investigator' painted on it. We know exactly what she is there seeking, confirmation of her worst fears, her husbands unfaithful behaviour. We all know what that next scene will depict, the private investigator stalking a spouse, hoping to catch them doing the nasty and them provide photographic proof that devastates a family. We rationally know the P I is slimy, but the suspicious wife? Never! She is the angel, who seeks out aid, under cloak and dagger in desperation. Only to be driven mad, when her worst fears are realised in that manila envelope of proof. Ok, sometimes that damsel in distress dies a gruesome death, but hey, that's just to keep you on your toes. The point is, we sensationalize the methodology for catching the partner cheating, in media and in our daily lives.
And now, your mattress can send you a text. The further technology advances, the further we get from one on one human interaction. Or being able to have adult conversations about serious issues, needs and wants. It honestly would be so much easier to get that text message, go home, pack your bags and then just copy and paste the notification to your spouse. No mess, no fuss, and full valianouther word. Let’s not deal with why, in the macho and poverty stricken Spain, the infidelity rate is spiking alarmingly. Let us instead, spend nearly $2000 on a new mattress, a couple hundred bucks on a Private Dick, or download a free app. Humans, constantly finding new and creative ways to catch a spouse in the act.dation without ever having to say a word to one another. Peace of mind, from the item that gives you a good nights rest. It was just as sexy in the past to leave the envelope of dirty pictures on the husbands desk and leave in the middle of the night, never saying